If you are certain that reconciliation isn’t possible with your spouse and you think it’s time to file for divorce, it’s important to be well prepared, to enlist help you need during the difficult transition, and to nurture the right mindset so that you don’t go crazy in what is often a lengthy, stressful process.
Tip #1: Be Prepared for Battle but Aim for Peace
Divorce consists of numerous complex issues, from visitation schedules with the children to how to divide retirement accounts. The natural human emotions that accompany divorce (anger, resentment, hostility, disappointment, guilt, rage, revenge, sadness) tend to muddy the waters, making it exceedingly complicated to settle matters.
Before filing for divorce, make sure you’re prepared, both logistically and emotionally:
- Emotional support – It may help to speak with a counselor before, during, and after the divorce process to help you handle the tidal wave of stress.
- Finances – Make sure you take a cold, hard look at where you stand financially, and how you will be able to pay your bills after the separation. Seek professional and/or family support for advisement on making provisions for divorce and your post-divorce budget. You’ll also want to collect all your financial information regarding your assets and debts. If your spouse is the one who primarily did the bill paying, this may take some doing.
- Focus – To promote peace and quick resolution, don’t go to battle over what’s not really important to you. Know your goals and your bottom line. Is custody your primary objective? Is the house important to you, or are you willing to let that go? Getting a clear picture of what you want ahead of time can help you avoid unnecessary bickering down the road.
Tip #2: Do Not Go It Alone
Firstly, you’ll need a confidante to help support you emotionally through the ordeal. This may be a trusted friend, a parent, or a divorce counselor.
Secondly, you’ll need a legal advisor. The process of divorce includes forms, procedures, and state-specific legalities. Unless you and your spouse can agree on each and every issue right from the start, you’ll need a divorce attorney to help you through the process.
Tip #3: Keep Your Eyes on the Future
Divorce is one of the hardest stages of a person’s life. But it can also be a very healing experience for those who’ve been unhappy for a long time. Even in the best-case scenario, the process of divorce is still stressful, emotionally draining, and can feel like it never ends.
This is where your ability to visualize comes in handy. Plan out how your new, happy life will look. Visualize it in as much detail as possible. Imagine yourself free, happy, and enjoying life. Then, when you start to feel overwhelmed or fearful during the divorce, recall those images and remind yourself that this will end, and you will be a stronger person for it.
Experienced Legal Counsel for Divorce in Dallas
At the Law Office of Julie Johnson, PLLC, we provide consultations for those contemplating filing for divorce and will help you chart a plan that works for you. Contact our attorneys today at 214-265-7630.