What to Do If You are Divorcing a Narcissist

If you are married to a narcissist the most important thing you can do is to hire a divorce attorney who understands the challenges and obstacles that will likely be involved.   Whether your spouse has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or has one or more of the narcissistic behaviors listed below, they will likely make the process of getting a divorce more complicated and emotional.  People with narcissistic tendencies often enjoy conflict, not resolution, and they do not like giving up control.

Narcissistic Personality Traits

• Inflated Ego
• Lack of Empathy for Others
• Manipulate Others to Get What They Want
• Need to be Right ALL THE TIME
• Lack of Responsibility
• Criticize Others Constantly
• Can Not Handle Even Slight Criticism
• Expect Approval and Praise of Others
• Tend to Embellish Achievements and Talent
• Brag and Act Arrogant
• Feel Entitlement – Insist on Having the Best of Everything
• Obsess About How Others See Them
• Crave Attention – Even Negative Attention
• Do Not Recognize the Needs or Feelings of Others
• Have No Boundaries

With those personality traits it is no surprise that they tend to get divorced at a much higher rate than other people.  However, if you are married to a narcissist, you know that they can also be quite charming, and often people only see the pleasant, charismatic side of them.  You may worry that the judge and attorneys will be won over by this side of them.

However, an experienced divorce attorney will have a lot of experience dealing with narcissistic people because they are often involved in divorces and breakups.  We recognize the red flags and know how to strategize to remove their power and reduce the emotional manipulation they desire.  While they may be able to portray the charismatic side for a while, the divorce process definitely brings out the worst in them.  They will act with extreme anger and a desire to destroy and dominate everything, because behind all the behavior is a realization that they are not in control of the process.  They also hate losing a relationship where they can criticize and manipulate you.

An experienced divorce attorney can help identify potential areas of conflict and block much of the destructive behavior of a spouse that exhibits narcissistic personality traits.  Additionally, an experienced divorce attorney can provide a layer of protection that keeps you from having to negotiate directly with the narcissistic spouse.  Narcissistic spouses often tell you that they ONLY want to negotiate directly with you, not the attorney, because they want to continue to dominate and control the process.  They may even threaten that you will receive a worse outcome if you hire an attorney or let the attorney take over the negotiations.  They do not want to have to go through the attorney because that takes them out of power.  This is all the more reason why it is absolutely necessary for you to hire an experienced divorce attorney who can remove the narcissistic person’s ability to dominate and control you and the process.  This will initially make the narcissist angry, but that is only because it levels the playing field.

Having our experienced divorce and family law attorneys on your side provides a protective barrier as you navigate the divorce process with a narcissist who does not play by the rules.  Reach out to our office through our online contract form.  Or, call 214-265-7630 to schedule an initial consultation with a divorce attorney and family law attorney.